So picture this: you’re in the self checkout at the grocery store ringing up items and loading them into a plastic bag. You notice there’s only one bag left on the spinny thingy so you get it in your mind you’re going to have to fit all 15+ items in that one bag. The bag is steadily spilling over as you add more, but you keep packing in the items; Stretching the bag every which way to get all your stuff in. You go to put in that 11th item and the bag finally snaps from the weight of everything. There you stand, frustrated because you made a mess AND had the audacity to try fitting all those items in one bag. And why weren’t there more bags available to you?! This is how capacity in our lives works.
Our bags are only so big and can only hold so much. Sometimes we have multiple and other times we just have one (or none). And as we journey through life and enter different seasons we don’t always notice how our capacity changes. This leads us to situations where we’re over scheduled and overwhelmed; We’re working against ourselves as we cram all our tasks, goals & responsibilities in.
Sometimes we just don’t have the bandwidth. But that’s not a bad thing. Different seasons just need different things from us. And as we honor our seasons, we can move more peacefully; not overcommitting and not feeling so weighed down.
I often hear people talk about getting back to places mentally, physically and emotionally, but they don’t always account for the newness and differences in the season. When we don’t acknowledge our capacity change, it can make us feel as if we keep failing. For instance, very early on in my 2nd pregnancy, I realized my bag/capacity had changed. I was doing much of what I always did, but I felt my bag about to snap. What I’d been doing was growing to be too much. What really got me was my hubby mentioning it too (don’t forget- whether we manage our capacity well or not it affects those closest to us either way). So with that strain and even knowing something had to give, I took a step back to pause and think about what was most important to me in that particular season. I asked myself questions like:
- Where am I struggling most?
- What things are causing the biggest strains?
- What things do not feel aligned in this particular season?
- What areas can I scale back or stop?
Now, this took several weeks of prayer and soul searching. I was determined to answer these questions as honestly as possible. I knew some answers very quickly, I just didn’t feel ready to accept some of them. Others took a little longer. And I even asked hubby his thoughts on some things and kept myself open to receive what he had to say. I knew although some things may be hard to hear, he meant it from a place of love. And as I questioned and answered and took all the things in, I allowed myself to grieve. Yes, grieve. I was sad about not being able to do some things I used to; Mad that I didn’t have the same capacity; Upset with myself for being upset. It definitely took me some time to make peace with the changes. One thing that really kept me, was realigning my priorities with the season. If I truly believed my family, my marriage and my overall health and joy and obedience to God to be most important, then my actions and where I spent my time needed to match that. Writing and repeating my boundaries helped me weed out the things that weren’t lining up. From there I couldn’t stay sad because I knew that moving in the direction of my priorities would get me where I desired to be. This is where pivots happened – in my case, I changed roles at my day job. It came with less overall money to be made, but it allowed me to create better boundaries, and better time management. I also stepped away from another entrepreneurial venture that didn’t align with what God told me to do. And I let go of some goals that no longer aligned with me.
It’s all been a journey, but with acknowledgment that my capacity/bag is different it’s allowed me to maneuver and advocate for myself like never before. I’m lighter, happier and more at peace! I’m not working against myself and it feels good to not be at war internally and dropping the ball in other areas of my world.
So I share all of this to ask – Are you overloading your bag? Has your bag snapped and are you picking up pieces? If your answer was yes – pause and take a deep breath and ask yourself the questions I asked myself. And if you need to call on personnel to help like a therapist or coach – please do that ASAP! You’re not alone and left to do any of this on your own.
Shoot me a message if this resonnated with you 🧡
-Lauren
